


Loup Garou and You (18/30)

by haisai_andagii



Series: Relation-Sh*t Tumblr 30 Day Fic Challenge [19]
Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-06
Updated: 2015-04-06
Packaged: 2018-03-21 14:57:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3696608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haisai_andagii/pseuds/haisai_andagii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remy's superstitious nature is getting out of control.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Loup Garou and You (18/30)

**Author's Note:**

> Relation-Sh*t Challenge: Phobia Shaming

"A twist?!" Pietro scoffed into his cellphone.  "Of course the priest was the werewolf, Wanda!"

His twin squawked loudly, causing him to pull his ears away for a moment.

"Yes, yes.  I will watch Beetlejuice next..." the speedster groaned in reply.  "But I think I will watch it alone because Remy left the room when  _Silver Bullets_ was becoming somewhat interesting.  Good night, Wanda."

Pietro yawned, stretching tall as he tossed his cell onto the nightstand.  He showered and dressed in record speed.  After brushing his teeth, he decided to pay his boyfriend a visit.

As he walked over, he saw the cats - Figaro, Lucifier, and Olivia - sitting in an attentive row.  They sniffed and pawed a row of shiny objects lining the outside of the door.

"Pennies?" he said as he bent over for a closer look.

"It ta keep the loup garou away!" came Remy's voice through the door.

"Loup Garou?"

"Werewolves!"  The door cracked open, revealing a very panicked looking Remy.  "I saw one as a boy when I wandered off from my Pa!  I chased me for a mile through the swamp until I climbed a tree.  Had to wait all night fo' my brother Henry to come and fetch me down!"

"Okay," the speedster said slowly, his eyes darting between his frightened beau and the row of coins.  "Why pennies though?"

"That she-devil in wolf's clothing is bad at math!  She can't count mo' den twelve, the dumb ting!" he explained, opening the door a bit wider.  "How many pennies there, cher...?"

Pietro looked.

"There are thirteen... No, wait there are- What?!" the speedster balked,  as he avoided a splash of holy water.  He zipped forward and snatched the bottle from his beau's fist. "First of all, you just said the loup garou is a woman!" Pietro shouted, pushing against the door and Remy pushed back with all his might.  "I am not and do not identify as a woman! And then - in the tradition of sexist stereotypes - she can't do basic math to save her life!"

"But you ate both ends o' da bread yesterday!" Remy cried, not giving an inch.  "Only an truly evil man would do such a ting!"

"You're being a fool!" Pietro hissed.  He threw his hands up in defeat.  "You're a full grown man whose scared of werewolves!  There is no such thing as werewolves!"

"Hey, Pietro?" Lorna called from the kitchenette.  "Rayne says she wants to have lunch with you and me tomorrow in Arlington.  Can you pick her from the bus station and bring her to Serval around 3pm?"

"Werewolf!" the Cajun bellowed.  "The loup garou is comin' fo' me because you ate that multigrain loaf like a savage!"

"Rayne is a teammate and a respected member of the mutant community!" the speedster shouted back.  He knelt down and, snatching each penny up, tossed them down the length of the hall.  As he threw the last one, it stopped, suspended in the air.

A very cross Lorna appeared with bright copper coins orbiting her pajama-ed form.

"What is all the damn fuss?" she snapped.  "Remy, go the hell to bed. And Pietro, make sure to get Rayne from Ballston Metro and if you don't meet me at St. Martins by 3:15, I'll drive these damn things through your thick skull!"

"Yes, Lorna..." the men replied in unison.

The pennies fell to the floor as Lorna stomped off.

"You're a fool!" Pietro seethed.  "Enjoy sleeping alone!"  He stooped down and scooped up all three cats.

"N-no!" Remy begged.  "Leave me Luci!  He the only that would drive the loup away!"

Pietro huffed and marched off with his furry, mewling hostages.


End file.
